I Guess You Want to Know What Happened

Okay, the thesis went badly. Yes, that's right, it went badly. Here's the story:

I was really really tired. Really really bored and really really frustrated witht he way things were going. I didn't care anymore and couldn't possibly do any more work on what was already taking up 20 hours of my days. There was work at Biagetti's, the problems with my permesso di soggiorno, and struggling with a team that didn't have the same self-expectations that I do. I didn't do my best, I let myself down.

Now, in the end the project was finished. Self-critique set off it's alarm a long while ago so I can tell you what i knew didn't work: The soundtrack, the animation, the entire character of Amy, the colours of the park scene, the ambient occlusion, the presentation of the work, the errors in rendering, Amy's skirt-... the list goes on and on. I can also tell you where it began to go wrong: At the very beginning. In my gut I knew I wanted to work alone for this project and twice i invited partners that weren't suited to my vision. More than a few times I let myself be convinced that what I was doing was 'okay' or 'good enough' when in fact I knew it wasn't. I lost respect for the work as a whole.

I learnt alot. I learnt a hell of alot about 3D, XSI and all technical aspects, but I learnt even more about myself. I'm made a certain way. I'm me and there's no reason to try to bend myself into another shape to seem nice or something. I'm certain that in this case the project would have gone better if I had had the confidence to speak my mind.

The comission of the school gave me 25/30. I'll post the project when i finish organising myself for animation mentor which starts next week.